Over the past few years I have been ‘fortunate’ enough to be able to attend various social functions among crowds which have been saturated with other cyclists.
We were recently invited to our very first cyclists’ wedding. I was curious about how the day would pan out. Would it reflect the groom’s infatuation with cycling or would the idea of a wedding override the all-encompassing topic of cycling? It went as follows….
Initially the cycling crowd easily blended in with the rest of the crowd. With those shaved legs out of lycra and hidden from the public eye by long pants and no bikes to lean on, you couldn’t tell by looking at the crew that they were cyclists, unless of course you tuned in to their conversation, which overflowed with cycling chatter. After the ceremony it was off to the reception. The cycling crew filtered out to the car park and made beelines for all of the cars with roof racks that were dotted among the other vehicles. The route that was taken to the reception was of course via a convoluted cycling route familiar to all of the cyclists. Having arrived safely we settled in with a drink and found a prime position for maximum access to the nibbles that were floating past every now and then.
After a delicious dinner it was time for the speeches. As I waited for the romantic and humorous tales of the courting days to unfold, I was surprised by the common topic of cycling, which appeared in each of the speeches. The speeches collectively told the story of the groom, an avid cyclist who obviously wanted to share this passion with his new found love. So the bride-to-be, broke her habit of lazing on the couch and went for a ride alongside him on her Kmart Huffy bike. As the stories unfolded it was revealed that the bride had now developed quite a liking for a leisurely ride and was keen to get a road bike. The groom had done it. With the help of cupid he had managed to tempt the bride with a taste of cycling. And so the story of this transformation was shared with all, from many points of view.
The next person to take the microphone, to my surprise, was Cycling Hubby, who had sworn he wasn’t going to share a speech but obviously overcome by the occasion felt compelled to impart some wisdom to the newlyweds about married life with a cyclist. The crowd was treated to some advice from Cycling Hubby about marriage and cycling and achieving a harmonious balance between the two. Not feeling at all as though we have achieved a harmonious balance of the two ourselves, I was curious to hear his words of wisdom and noted down one or two. To the bride, he broke the news that: Tan lines are inevitable, and your groom will have the unique tanning marks for as long as he chooses to cycle. There is no cure to this.
The power is all in the legs and just because the groom has no upper body strength, it doesn’t make him any less of a man. (Just whom was Cycling Hubby trying to convince of this?). The groom will always be more conscious of his weight than you will be. It’s a cyclist thing. Be prepared to battle for the razor in the shower as you both strive for well manicured legs. And for the groom.: You can only go riding four mornings in a row before she gets sick of it and you need to sleep in with her. Don’t assume your bike will be going on EVERY holiday – it’s not going to happen. Taking your wife to a race does not count as ‘quality time’ with her. Don’t even suggest that it is. I was biting my tongue as my head was overflowing with bits of advice Cycling Hubby was failing to disclose. I also became intrigued as to where Cycling Hubby had retrieved this advice from, as I can honestly say that the only part of it that he actually follows is the last point – and he learnt about that one the hard way. As for a sleep in with me every fifth morning? I don’t think so! After the speeches and dessert, you could see the cyclists making a quick exit as they began to think about the sleep they would need in order to get up for a ride early the following day. It seems that no matter what the occasion, cycling is able to wedge its way in somehow. Even the glorious day of a wedding cannot escape the clutches of the cycling world.